Thursday, December 22, 2005

I think I figured out why I hate Christmas

I think its partly because I don't have any kids of my own. This is by design, I have never wanted children. Since I don't have any, I have never had to 'make' Christmas for anyone, so I see it for what it is; a holiday of gluttony, over spending and excess. Don't get me wrong, normally those are right up my alley, but there seems to come with this a sense of entitlement. "Its Christmas so I can cut you off and in the spirit of forgiveness you won't run me off the road." "It's the season of forgiveness so I will push you at the mall, cut in front of you in line and take the last parking spot and you will not pull out a spoon and cut out my heart"

I wouldn't be so sure. If you think road rage is bad, add to that no parking, way too many people at your mall and rain and you better be wearing a Superman suit that really works.

Spaghetti be Thy name, RAmen.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Merry Kwanzaa Bitches

So, this winter is a little different than last. We didn't have any visitors, no family, no tree, no lights. This year, we have family from both sides coming to stay for awhile but still no lights.

Its funny, at work its perfectly okay to put up christmas decorations, but not for me to discuss Pastafarianism. I am not allowed to say, "no, please don't put up a wreath" because I don't do christmas, but if I was jewish or muslim, I would be perfectly acceptable to say just that. I just get really uncomfortable in the presence of a lot of christmas decorations. I think its ridiculous to cut down trees just to throw tinsel on them and call it decor. I think its equally stupid to think that if you don't have lights strung everywhere and a wreath on every door, then you aren't in the christmas spirit. I always thought it was in the heart, not on the door. But that is me. I digress.

I have my mom, dad, brother/sisterinlaw coming from California to Washington hauling a trailer with my furniture in it. They wanted to do this last winter, but I talked them out of it since it was really snowy in the passes and I still don't know why they can't haul a trailer in, say, MAY! Whatever. I don't expect to see my furniture ever again. None of them have ever towed a trailer before and trying to do it in the snow is going to suck. But travelling in favorable weather is just silly I suppose. Please think of them on the 26th of December while they are driving north on I5 and wish them luck to get here safe and in one piece.

bah humbug.

Monday, December 12, 2005

tis the season...

I don't "do" christmas.

I mean, I don't buy presents, I don't do parties, I don't decorate my house or a tree. I just don't, and I don't spin any cycles trying to understand or explain it either.

But I love making cookies, so this is my season! I love finding new recipes and making all the goodies that everyone loves this time of year. I just found one recipe that is just yummy. Its called Peanut Butter Smore Bars. OMG! so good, but I have a really bad habit of wanting to change a recipe before I try it. So I made a point of making this as printed and they are so yummy. This doesn't mean I won't be changing them the next time I make them, but they are dang yummy as is. You can find the recipe at http://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/ShowRecipe.aspx?rid=13922

Monday, December 05, 2005

A truck is a truck, right?

I have a Chevy full size pick up, and I am going to get a Toyota 4x4. I have already gone round and round about the Domestic/Import arguments, but with today's gas prices I can't let patriotism keep me from being able to make my mortgage payment after I fill that thing. Knoarmann (my truck) is 12 years old, 168k and down to 16mpg. With a 24 gallon tank, that takes me about 50-60 dollars to fill, depending on prices on any given corner. That also gets me about 10 trips back and forth to work, so I am at every other week. Unfortunately, my employer is not giving me more money to fill up even though he was kind enough to move 5 more miles away.

I have a chance to get a nice small 6cyl Toyota for about 3500 with a just rebuilt engine, that will get me at least another 200k. Yeah, seems like an obvious choice. Especially at 23+mpg. I will fill up about the same interval, but for about half the price. Yeah, I like that. Don't judge me! ;)

The BUZZ has gone girly!

100.7 the BUZZ was the last oasis of manly man stuff. With personalities like BJ Shea, and Tom Leykis. It was a station that men could go and talk about men stuff. Like, as Mr. Leykis puts it, how to get more tail for less money. So sad for the men in the area who now have only Tom Leykis to give them this advice, pre recorded and replayed at a later time on another station that is not dedicated to talk radio.

What happened to the Buzz? 100.7 is now THE WOLF! Country music from the 80's, 90's and today. That is about as girly as it could go except if it became the My Little Pony station. I love country music, but I love all kinds of music. I am very happy to have a second country station to pick from again. I was devastated when KYCW Young Country 96.5 became The Point at noon on a friday. I was leaving for lunch and we listened to it at work, so when I got to my truck, I was confused when I heard INXS and realized that the station had switched without any warning. I can't stand the one country station that has been kicking around here since the beginning of time. They have a dedicated audience of blue hairs and geriatrics. Sigh.

Anyway, THE WOLF is kicking off with 10,000 songs commercial free. We figured thats about 3 weeks of straight music. I am going to refrain from deciding on how good the station is until I hear what kind of real programming they are going to do and who the on air personalities will be.

What do I have to say to BJ Shea? NEENER NEENER NEENER YOU LEYKIS WANNABE!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Memorable moment from Burningman 2005

actually, I spent most of my nights asleep, I only was out dancing 2 nights and spent those at one of two clubs. Clubs?!? okay camps with big domes and huge speakers!

I was working the morning shift at Camp Arctica so I was asleep by midnight at the latest and if I wasn't dancing I was in bed by 10. I was up by 6 am every day, and that is by far the best time to be out and about. I would actually go dancing in the morning at the clubs that were still hopping.
There was one guy at one of these clubs in the morning who I had seen talking to a girl who stepped away turned around and gave him the double thumbs up like " Sure, whatever you say buddy" I couldn't hear their conversation, but I got the gist of it, and then he was heading straight for me. Oh gawd. So I watched him from behind sunglasses as he headed straight to me without once looking at my face, just at the sisters. First words out of his mouth? "You have magnificent breasts." Well, this set into motion a story line I would throw at drunken sailors; "Thank you, I think I got them too big though. They weigh me down." him: "What do you mean you got them too big?" me: "They aren't real" him: "well they are still magnificent. I am going to bed, wanna come?" me: "I think its important that I tell you that I used to be a man, and it was three surgeries ago, I am a little sensitive about it and don't call me Kevin!"
I could almost see his brain misfire on that one, as he took one last look at the girls he just walked away and left the area. I wonder if he ever found anyone to accompany him?

I'm just sayin.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

On becoming...

I think we go through 4 major growth spurts in our lives if we are lucky.
infancy, puberty, sexual and spiritual. The spritual growth is the lucky one. Most people never quite get there. They get close, they peek through the door and see what it can be, but then never cross over. Never find their truth, their own path and their center. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I have had a few very close friends who have helped me get closer to that center and closer to my own truth. I have watched as others have denied their own desires so as not to go too far against societal norms.

I don't like to say life is short, because lets be honest, its the longest thing any of us ever does. Life is not serious. Death is serious. Life is fun and should be that way in every aspect. Fun with friends, fun with lovers, fun at work, fun at play, smiles and laughter at every turn. I have had my share loss. Luckily, I have had friends remind me to remember the smiles and laughter of those who have gone before us. Also I know that I will meet up with them again. Nature abhors a vacuum. The place in my heart that was filled by the presence of those people past is substituted with someone else carrying their spirit. The people I have lost have never been replaced, there is just someone else carrying their spirit.

Sorry, I really don't know where this one was going.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

In hindsight, we could have waited on the shampoo...

I had a party at my house with just the ladies and of course I thought to shampoo the carpets the week before.

If you do this and you happen to have a bar in your house on part of this carpeted area. Either invest in Scotch Guard or get the dang carpets shampooed after the party.

I hired a bartender who is very good, but also a self proclaimed sloppy shaker. He told me about half way through the party that he sometimes has to change his shirt halfway through his shift because he has cocktail overshakes all over his shoulders.

I wish I had known this previously. I would have put a scrap piece of carpet down, or some kitty litter. :) Thank you Paddy-Cat, I had a great time at the party for the first time. You are an amazing bartender and you will be back.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The all powerful grocery checkout belt divider

What is with people not wanting their items out of their immediate control? I am standing in the express check out line with my three items. and there are two other people in front of me with their few items. Well there is paying guy, control freak guy and me. So, of course paying guy needs a price checked. so we are all waiting.

The clerk has left the belt running and control freak guy is not letting his items slide forward to the check out area, he is maintaining this death grip on his supplies. Does he not know the power of the grocery check out divider? Nothing can get past this thing, it is like the condom of the check out line. Each of us being kept safe from the purchases of others touching our soon to be possessions.

Nope, this guy is holding on to his items letting the belt slide underneath them. So, just as an experiment, I put down one of the all powerful belt dividers and set my items down and let them travel their course toward the clerk. I thought that maybe control freak guy just needed guidance to show him the way of the check out line. Wrong again, he actually picked up his items and let mine go by. With a look of disbelief he looked at me as if to ask why I had let my three offending items slide toward his willy-nilly to almost have a collision. I looked right back at him and smiled. You know the one, the smile you give to people you see on the street just to appear friendly. Then I went back to my gossip rag perusing.

So paying guy is done with his price check on the snickers bar he was buying, and control freak guy steps up as the clerk was reaching to remove the force field of a check out belt divider. In a shrill voice that I never would have thought could come from this 6'4" bruiser, I hear "THOSE AREN'T MINE!" as he hands his items over the check writing stand to the checker. I think everyone within a 3 check stand raidius jumped at that. I tried not to laugh, but I am sure one of those half snort things came out my nose.

The rest of his transaction went off smoothly and he walked out with his 17 cents in savings and a confused look on his face. I stepped up to the clerk and we made eye contact and when he looked over my shoulder and saw CFG was out the door he looked back, smiled and asked what happened. I just smiled and said "I think I caused a melt down"

Hail the all powerful grocery check out divider.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Cocktails, restrooms and atonement

I don't know if any of you have heard the addage: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, in the clear. Well thats how I heard it and it made sense to me at the time and I must say it holds true for me. Mark and I went out to dinner at a new brew pub one night so we had to try all their beers, being the beer snobs we are (necessary information, retain for future reading). Then that same night was our friend Stephen playing guitar and singing at one of our favorite bars; the K&K. It is mostly one of our fav's because they let Stephen play, but also because they pour a generous cocktail.

Most of the time I keep it simple and drink a Vodka Collins, its a good citrusy drink thats hard to mess up. Whew, that was the beginning of the end on this particular evening. By the time we got there I had already had 4 beers including an industrial IPA that is 7% alcohol and oh so yummy. I used to be able to really drink quite a bit, but I was always smart to not mix my alcohols. So, me being not all that smart this evening, I went with my Vodka Collins once we got to the K&K. They pour them well and long. Ouch, at some point in the evening I went all glassy eyed and got some water from the bartender. It was too late.

I had gotten up and went to the single stall ladies restroom and let loose a flurry of technicolor vomit that has not been seen on this continent or any other in many decades. Yes, I closed the ladies bathroom from that point on. My only saving point was that I was pretty unconcious from that point on and that the Staff at the K&K must be very understanding.

oh... and I didn't puke _in_ the bar, only all over the bathroom, toilet, floor and wall.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Our nicest piece of furniture is a bar

When we first moved into our home, we noticed there was a perfect place for a bar, so we built one. Its 8 feet long, maple with a granite and glass top. It is the first thing you see when you walk in our front door. What does that say about us? We are both amateur bartenders (because we still want to be eligible for the Olympics) and we love a good cocktail. We love to entertain with a featured drink each time. I really enjoy having it there as it is handy for so many things. We had a pot luck and it worked great as a buffet. Its a great place to hide stuff. I often wonder what people who just meet us and come into our home think. Oh well, not enough to worry about it

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Bad Kitty!

So, I don't know if you have cats or know someone who does or know what a cat is, but in short they are hunting machines. Even my stark white, turd in a punchbowl Kimba who couldn't camoflage in anything except snow or dandruff has been able to bring us two live birds. So the first one was quite a shock, we have had Kimba for about a year and this is the first time we have seen any hunting prowess on his part. I went to grab him away from the bird and had to put a judo headlock on him just to throw him in the bathroom and allow the bird a chance to get away. That was quite a site.
I don't have a lot more to say about this except I don't know if I am impressed or saddened by this skill we have just learned about.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Birthday's, Parties and Fuzzy Rum Drinks

I spent Friday night at my friends house for his 31st birthday. We call this the barbecue crowd; as anytime we get together it involves flesh, fire and a free for all on alcohol. Long ago we had introduced them to the Fuzzy Rum Drinks (FRD) of Mark fame. It is a concoction that is so sweet and full of rum that you just need two before trying to remember your name. Many times we will bring our bar blender that has only two speeds: pulverize and subatomic particle. We got jumped with the information that the FRD had been requested and that they already had all the ingredients. So the night started early with FRD's and birthday cake. Yeah, we ended up spending the night. Not before the birthday boy was sent into the hot tub and we joined him. I didn't participate in any of the FRD's but I was out of the running early.
I woke up the next day with HHBL next to me on the floor and J next to him with J2 on the far end. The most fun was when I looked down and saw J spooning HHBL. I didn't realize anyone else knew it was happening. Of course Jesse didn't realize he was doing that until we told him it was all good until he stroked Mark's face. We love Jesse.
The host's mother was visiting and she made Ceviche the next morning for breakfast/lunch. OMG that is an amazing dish. If you know any native Ecuadorians, or other latin decendents and they like to cook, request this one. I will be trying to duplicate it but I am sure I will fail miserably for awhile.
I left that next afternoon with a feeling that I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I love my friends, they love me, they fill my heart and make me feel like I must have done something really right in my life to have been blessed like this.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Blast from the past...

I have been sending out an update to all the email address' of friends I have just in case anyone was interested. I try to update about once a month, but I normally don't have a lot to report, but I try anyway. I like to hear back from my friends that I haven't heard from in a long time. Like one of my best friends from college. Kathy!!! She is an amazing artist, when we were in school her passion seemed to be comic book type characters with a legendary twist. Names like Loki, Ian Garrison and Soaring Falcon come to mind. I thoroughly enjoyed being her friend and spending time with these characters. I am very glad that we can still catch up every now and then. I made a pilgrimage back to Colorado to be at her wedding. It was a very cool event.

Kathy, if you are reading this, here is the toast I didn't say at your wedding because, if you can believe it, I was feeling shy.
"May those who love us, love us. And for those who don't love us, May God turn their hearts. And if he can not turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles, So we may know them by their limping."

Check out her latest endeavor to comics here

Monday, May 23, 2005

Being in love...

I have long held the belief there is 100 "pretty damn close's." I thought the idea of one perfect person was way too limiting, what if my 'soul mate' was in Tibet or Chile, someplace I may not ever get to?
I have long believed that there are 100 PDC's and you are a PDC for hundreds and the trick is to keep looking until you run into each other. I am positive I have found a PDC in HHBL. He gets me, he makes me feel safe, important, loved and desired. Funny, thats how most of the friends I hold closest make me feel as well. I don't believe we have only a pound of love to spread out to those we choose to give it to. We have a pound of love for every person we choose to give it to. So the love you give to any person does not take away from the love you give anyone else.
If you are reading this, my friends, you know what I mean. I will do my best to be the friend you deserve. I promise that this pound of love is calorie free.

K

Friday, May 20, 2005

Armed Forces Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day

I have to admit that being a veteran in todays US is much better than it was in the 70's but not as good as it was in the 40's. In my mind anyway. I spent 9 years in the Navy, doing just about every job from scrubbing toilets, moving aircraft and watching people pee for my government. I have been a jailer, a secretary and a heavy equipment operator. My favorite job was 'drunk on a barstool'. I spent the better part of my first enlistment in Europe having a grand old time. Spain and Crete mostly. Wow, I miss it a lot sometimes. I reenlisted there because if it was all like that, why not stay in?!?! Well that was the end of that, as soon as I signed on the dotted line (again) I got shipped back to the states and on to the adventure I was promised in the elistment propoganda. Who knew Florida could be so... so... fucking humid!?!? I only spent 4 months there, then off to California to join an aircraft carrier. By far the best command I was attached to. Best men and women I ever served with on active duty were there. The best people ever were in the SeaBees and whenever I say I was in the navy I say I was a SeaBee and its a whole different, and more respected, perception of my service.

Since I got out of the service I always take Veteran's day off, I earned that for sure. It's not like I take MLK day off just because I share his skin color...

To all the past, present and future service members; I give a tall salute to you all. You are my brothers and sisters. Good luck and get home safe.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Knockin on Starbuck's Door

I never thought I would become one of those people. I always thought I didn't like coffee enough to be able to rattle off my preference to a starbucks team member and have it make sense. But alas, I am one of those people in front of you that has a very specific drink I enjoy.
Grande Espresso Frappucino Light with a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla. Yeup, it takes about that long to say it too. A whole lines worth. I apologize now for holding you up when they get it wrong and ask me to say it again. About half the time I will get just a Grande Coffee Frappucino Light with a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla, when I really want the extra caffeine. sigh. What to do? In the process of finding out how to order it, I thought I had worked out all the kinks and I would get it right every time. But no, I used to say Grande Coffee Frappucino Light with an extra shot and a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla. I was told to ask for a Grande Espresso Frappucino Light with a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla. That meant it already had the extra shot in it. Not true, not true.

Now I just order a vanilla latte.

ufck it!

Monday, May 16, 2005

No, not yet...

I am not quite ready to head into a store and take on the horrible task of finding a new bra. Stay tuned for that later.

For now, I am taking all the bras I have that are half destroyed and I am going to make a screen of them. If you hook them together in a string then hook another row together through the arm holes of the first row and so on, it makes a nice screen and conversation starter. I am heading to Burning Man this year and I may have to collect from my friends more bras to make enough screens to cover the shower just because it would be a fun and interesting screen for that purpose. Maybe I will just make a huge one to use as a shade structure. That would work quite well. Hmmm, the thoughts are just flowing now. So if you find yourself sorting through bras and want to get rid of them for a good cause, I will take them off your hands.

The Sisters

Okay, I know I was bitching a lot the other day about the sisters, but I will say this. I love them. They are me, I feel identified by them. To be certain I am empowered by them.

But when it comes to finding bra's, I am still like that pre-teen trying to figure out how they go on. I find some that I like for awhile, then they breakdown under the strain of the job. I ask a lot of a bra. it must be comfortable, have no more than 3 hooks in back and have a low cut front, but without pushing them together. I don't need to create the buttcrack cleavage that everyone thinks is so alluring. Besides just like some don't like their meat and veggies touching on their plates; I don't like having them touching because I just sweat there and it is not a good thing.

The ones that have lasted the longest are the expensive ones, but they only last about a month longer than the cheap ones. So I find myself in the local megastore looking for the least expensive underwire bra that is tan or white and relatively comfortable. If I had any reason to believe that there was a bra out there that would last a year, that cost even twice as much as I have ever spent before and was comfortable?!!? I would totally buy stock in the company and share this information with all who would listen. Not gonna happen. Hear me HANES? JOCKEY!! BALI!?!?! Whatever.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Underwires and the National Debt

Something you may not know about me is I am a top heavy girl. Thanks mom. I sport a pair of 36DDD, all me, all natural, all a pain in the ass. I wasn't always this size. I hear from other ladies that almost as soon as they started developing, they practically overnight got to their current splendor. Not me, no way. I had my first real bra just in time for my 6th grade pictures. Yeah, there I was the only girl with bra straps showing in my elementary school picture. YAY!

I did develop into quite a full C by the time I graduated high school and even into college I maintained that size depending on the brand of bondage I was wearing. Then it happened, I joined the United States Navy and I went to boot camp and the saltpeter that is rumored to be in the food to keep us from getting horny, made my boobs inflate to super human size. I came out of boot camp a DD and never looked back. I like to call them my government issue tits; as they seem to have come in my seabag.

Well, let me tell you about joining one of the last good ol' boys clubs (AKA US Navy). First of all, ask any female service member and she will tell you that it takes about 300% effort to get 30% credit. Add to that the 15% enlistment rate of women across the services and you can see that being a woman in the service is about as lonely as one can feel. Forget that the odds are great to throw a stick and find a date, but it is still a lonely existence. Yes, we can't carry as much as men. We can't run as fast or do as many pushups (on average), but don't you dare assume I can't outthink you any day and twice on Tuesday. Women have had to be able to think creatively when it comes to accomplishing manual labor.

Now the funny stuff: Boobs get in the way! Trying to shoot from prone position is just a joke. Considering most safety equipment that our government gets from the lowest bidder is not made with anyone bigger than a 32A in mind, can you picture what my everyday existance was like. I wore a shirt with two pockets on the chest that I couldn't carry anything in. My name was over the left tit and I always got "hey, what's the other ones name?" Har har har, yeah, hillarious.

So, I played the tomboy card and worked my ass off and got the respect of my peers by getting as much, if not more done in the same amount of time. I got to mess with drunken sailors and tell them I used to be a man and there are barcodes on 'the sisters'. I got asked over to the married sailors houses for barbecue's under the guise that "my wife just wants to meet you!" No she doesn't. She wants to check out who you are stupidly raving about. "That Williams is one cool chick! She kicks ass, makes me laugh, keeps us going" Yeah, dumbass, fastest way to get me invited over is to talk too much about me. The fastest way for me to never get invited over again is if I actually go.

I went to a few of these until one was at my Lieutenants house and there were lots of officer's wives around and a few other senior enlisteds and they asked me to whom I belonged. When I answered "the USN, I am stationed with them," all of a sudden I might as well have had a heaving pustule on my face. Yeah, wives don't want to meet me they want to know the face of their presumed enemy. Trust me ladies, all I get to see is the nasty habits they have when they forget that we are women and we are just shipmates in their minds. You can have them.

Anyway, back to the boobs. The sisters, twins or ta-tas as I like to call them, have gotten me in and out of trouble. Mostly, though, they have caused me ever growing grief trying to find a sling to keep them in. Stay tuned for the next chapter: "Seeking the Perfect Bra," I am gonna buy stock when I find it.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Support our Troops, quit decorating your car.

These stupid magnets that look like ribbons that say "Support Our Troops" are getting on my nerves. When was the last time someone wrote a letter to congress to ask for better benefits for our troops? How many would send the 2-7 dollars they spent on that idiotic magnet to any organization that can actually support our troops?

I know that wishing for something will not make it so, but I also think that putting something out there in the universe may change a mind. If you find yourself in a store that has one of those magnets in the impulse buy aisle at the check out stand, and you think 'wow, I have always wanted one of those to show my support.' Try saving your 5 bux, spend 37 cents on a stamp and write a letter to your congressman asking him to support our troops next time they are in session. If there was a letter written for every ribbon magnet sold, some real change could happen.

Semper Fi

Friday, April 29, 2005

Cinco De Mayo or Annual Holocaust Party???

Looking at my office calendar I see that it is Holocaust Rememberance Day (M). Huh. I can't help but think of this addage: " I knew I would look back on my tears and laugh, but I didn't think I would look back on my tears and have a Margarita!"

I guess those Mexicans know how to just let it go. Let bygones be bygones. I mean really, why forget today what can be forgotten tomorrow after the hangover.

So, Feliz Cinco De Mayo everyone. Have a Margarita Rocks, no salt made with Sauza, not that Cuervo stuff.

Peace.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

This kind of sums it up...

I found this one years ago in a high school yearbook, though over the years I have yet to find the author, so I apologize now for not giving credit where its due.


After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and sharing a life.
And you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security
and loneliness is universal.
And you learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept you defeats with your head
up and your eyes open, with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your hope on today
as the future has a way of falling apart in mid-flight
because tomorrows ground can be too uncertain for plans;
yet each step taken in a new direction creates a path
toward the promise of a brighter dawn.
And you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and nourish your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that love, true love, always has joys and sorrows,
seems ever present, yet is never quite the same,
becoming more than love and less than love,
so difficult to define.
And you learn that through it all you really can endure,
that you really are strong, that you really have value
and you learn and grow... With every goodbye you learn

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Tuesday, bluesday

I always thought I would look back on my tears and laugh, but I never thought I would look back on my laughter and cry.

I used that in my good bye note when I left college after realizing I was not going to finish anyway. I don't know where I got it, but it holds true in most of my life. I have done enough living in this life so far to fill mine as well as yours. Its funny when I think about how long I was doing this or living there, it just seems to add up to much more than my 35 years.

Pedward decided to put a vision in my head this morning in email. Him in a leopard print banana hammock. AAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Thanks for that. Though its not horrible, it is a difficult one to remove from memory.

One of the radio stations locally has changed format for the 5th time in as many years. Now they are claiming to play anything they want because they have the 100,000 watt transmitter and I don't. I got to start my morning with Diana Ross and Nirvana. Yeup, I'm awake now.