Thursday, October 11, 2012


Twila, the 20yo

She is about to finish her AA at the end of three years of full time school. When did the AA become a 3 year degree?  She is nowhere near ready to be out on her own. I do put a lot of expectation on these girls as I was living on my own making 5 bux an hour working 50 hours a week at a ski resort stuffing butts at age 18. 

She says she wants to be a vet. She icks out when her own cat drools on her. She can't even scoop a single cat box with any regularity, and feeding on a schedule gets acknowledged but not accomplished. My latest peeve that came up tonight was that she did scoop the kitty box and then put the scooped poop into the trashcan outside. What's wrong with that, you ask? 

Well living here in California, there is no alley, so our cans go on the curb one day a week for pick up. That was yesterday. Passive aggressive admission here: I leave the cans on the curb to see how long it takes anyone else to move them back to the side yard. I am usually doing it Thursday night, much like tonight.

So, there I was, bringing in the cans tonight and I smell the tell tale sign of scooped catbox in the can. The same empty can that was left on the street. It would have taken 20 extra seconds to pull this can back to the side yard and do ONE LITTLE THING for the household that provides her food, cable, wifi and asks that she only scoop the catbox once a day which she can barely manage. 

She has a heart the size of Montana. Feels everything with every fiber of her being. Wants so badly to be in love and loves fantasy and vampire fiction like Twilight and Vampire Diaries.  

I have lived with people I have not been related to since I was 18. I know what it takes to be a good roommate, a good contributor to a household and an adult to be sure.  These girls are given a lot of leeway. They are allowed to not do anything, really. I can only request the cat box to be scooped over and over and over.  The fourth over is just too much.

Where were you at 20? What was expected of you? What am I doing wrong already? Besides the obvious?

Did I tell you I have kids?

Probably not. This is a recent development. They are 16, 18, 20, and for the most part, they are good girls who want life, but I think are unprepared to be adults in an adult world. The youngest and the oldest live with us. The middle one who is having a child of her own in a month, lives with mom.

Being a stepmom is probably harder than being a mom in some ways. Even though mom was the one who did the leaving in this situation, she will always be mom. I will always be the woman who makes their dad really really happy, and who they will always view as the one who "just doesn't 'get' them"

I am going to take my time and introduce them as best I can.  Who knew this was going to become a blog about being a stepmom? I always knew I would marry a guy with his own kids, but I wasn't ready.