Wednesday, April 19, 2006

40 ways to tell if you are a product of the 80's

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE."
2. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and can do the Carlton?
3. Girls wore bike shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
4. Two word: Hammer Pants.
5. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
6. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side.
7. You wore stone washed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
8. L.A. Gear.....need I say more?
9. You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona Quimby books.
10. You know the profound meaning of "WAXON, WAX OFF."
11. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (Some of us...head-to-toe).
12. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose
fell off and his cheeks shifted.
13. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
14. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes(and probably in neon colors,
15. After you saw "Pee-wee's Big Adventure "you kept saying "I know
you are, but what am i?
16. You remember "I've fallen and I can;t get up."
17. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
18. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
19. You have played with a Skip-It.
20. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
21. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
22. "Don't worry, be happy."
23. You wore, like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top
24. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do).
25. You remember boom boxes.
26. You remember Alf, the li'l furry brown alien from Melmac.
27. You remember New Kids of the Block when they were cool.
28. You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART."
29. (You just sang those words to yourself.)
30. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird. Oh will
never be that good again.
31. Homemade Levi shorts....(The shorter the better.)
32. You remember when mullets were cool!
33. You had a mullet!
34. You still sing "We are the World."
35. You tight rolled your jeans.
36. You owned a banana clip.
37. You remember "Where's the Beef?
38. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout
39. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
40. You wanted to be a "Goonie"

Monday, April 17, 2006

My first adventure in backpacking (hijinx ensues)

I have a friend JA who has literally camped and backpacked all over the world. She is by far the most worldly person I know. She is multilingual and an expert at placement and construction of outhouses*. *She know's I am talking about her now.
Being so experienced, I had no reason not to trust her completely. I own hiking boots, sleeping bag and pad. She had everything else. She even thought ahead with this being april and weather being unpredictable at best, she wanted to stay low in altitude to avoid the possibility of snow. So with the forecast being 2000 foot snow level we stayed below 1800.

This did not stop us from waking up in the snow. Heavy snow. Lot's of it.

I don't do well in the snow. I don't like driving in it, I don't like being around other people in the snow*. *Long story for another entry.

So, JA being considerate of my snow issues, we headed back out of the Olympic National Forest for lower ground. More specifically her parents house about 30 minutes away. We cooked breakfast and sat and looked over the water and thought about what it was going to be like once we finally got to go hiking. She got some tips and we took off to a small park nearby and on the water. We hiked around there and found what might be the next adventure of our whole group of friends in car camping.

While we were out there we concocted the story of fighting off a bear with our purses for those who want to ask us how our hiking trip went. All I have to say is thank goodness we carry zip ties in our purses. (Don’t ask) She had told me at the beginning that my only job was to tell her when I wasn’t having fun anymore and we would head straight back to the car and get dry, warm and fed. Well, after hiking around this park for a couple hours in the rain, I realized that I really wasn’t prepared for the rain and decided it was time to get dry and that my hot tub was calling our names.

Great weekend, we spent about 40 minutes in the tub getting warm, then got food and movies and spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies and hanging out. It couldn’t have been much better.

I am very lucky with the friends I have. They are as flexible as I am. I try new things with them and they come hang with me and do nothing. Nothing is good sometimes.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Another one I have to share...

N.W. Washington Barbies are FINALLY Available!!!!

Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Kens generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball and is often working late. Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.

Bellevue Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named Honey. Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.

Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops.

Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately and get a

Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.

Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt and a Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's donkey when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his episodes with his boss's daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.

Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village.

Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.