Sunday, May 29, 2005

Birthday's, Parties and Fuzzy Rum Drinks

I spent Friday night at my friends house for his 31st birthday. We call this the barbecue crowd; as anytime we get together it involves flesh, fire and a free for all on alcohol. Long ago we had introduced them to the Fuzzy Rum Drinks (FRD) of Mark fame. It is a concoction that is so sweet and full of rum that you just need two before trying to remember your name. Many times we will bring our bar blender that has only two speeds: pulverize and subatomic particle. We got jumped with the information that the FRD had been requested and that they already had all the ingredients. So the night started early with FRD's and birthday cake. Yeah, we ended up spending the night. Not before the birthday boy was sent into the hot tub and we joined him. I didn't participate in any of the FRD's but I was out of the running early.
I woke up the next day with HHBL next to me on the floor and J next to him with J2 on the far end. The most fun was when I looked down and saw J spooning HHBL. I didn't realize anyone else knew it was happening. Of course Jesse didn't realize he was doing that until we told him it was all good until he stroked Mark's face. We love Jesse.
The host's mother was visiting and she made Ceviche the next morning for breakfast/lunch. OMG that is an amazing dish. If you know any native Ecuadorians, or other latin decendents and they like to cook, request this one. I will be trying to duplicate it but I am sure I will fail miserably for awhile.
I left that next afternoon with a feeling that I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I love my friends, they love me, they fill my heart and make me feel like I must have done something really right in my life to have been blessed like this.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Blast from the past...

I have been sending out an update to all the email address' of friends I have just in case anyone was interested. I try to update about once a month, but I normally don't have a lot to report, but I try anyway. I like to hear back from my friends that I haven't heard from in a long time. Like one of my best friends from college. Kathy!!! She is an amazing artist, when we were in school her passion seemed to be comic book type characters with a legendary twist. Names like Loki, Ian Garrison and Soaring Falcon come to mind. I thoroughly enjoyed being her friend and spending time with these characters. I am very glad that we can still catch up every now and then. I made a pilgrimage back to Colorado to be at her wedding. It was a very cool event.

Kathy, if you are reading this, here is the toast I didn't say at your wedding because, if you can believe it, I was feeling shy.
"May those who love us, love us. And for those who don't love us, May God turn their hearts. And if he can not turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles, So we may know them by their limping."

Check out her latest endeavor to comics here

Monday, May 23, 2005

Being in love...

I have long held the belief there is 100 "pretty damn close's." I thought the idea of one perfect person was way too limiting, what if my 'soul mate' was in Tibet or Chile, someplace I may not ever get to?
I have long believed that there are 100 PDC's and you are a PDC for hundreds and the trick is to keep looking until you run into each other. I am positive I have found a PDC in HHBL. He gets me, he makes me feel safe, important, loved and desired. Funny, thats how most of the friends I hold closest make me feel as well. I don't believe we have only a pound of love to spread out to those we choose to give it to. We have a pound of love for every person we choose to give it to. So the love you give to any person does not take away from the love you give anyone else.
If you are reading this, my friends, you know what I mean. I will do my best to be the friend you deserve. I promise that this pound of love is calorie free.


Friday, May 20, 2005

Armed Forces Day, Veterans Day, Memorial Day

I have to admit that being a veteran in todays US is much better than it was in the 70's but not as good as it was in the 40's. In my mind anyway. I spent 9 years in the Navy, doing just about every job from scrubbing toilets, moving aircraft and watching people pee for my government. I have been a jailer, a secretary and a heavy equipment operator. My favorite job was 'drunk on a barstool'. I spent the better part of my first enlistment in Europe having a grand old time. Spain and Crete mostly. Wow, I miss it a lot sometimes. I reenlisted there because if it was all like that, why not stay in?!?! Well that was the end of that, as soon as I signed on the dotted line (again) I got shipped back to the states and on to the adventure I was promised in the elistment propoganda. Who knew Florida could be so... so... fucking humid!?!? I only spent 4 months there, then off to California to join an aircraft carrier. By far the best command I was attached to. Best men and women I ever served with on active duty were there. The best people ever were in the SeaBees and whenever I say I was in the navy I say I was a SeaBee and its a whole different, and more respected, perception of my service.

Since I got out of the service I always take Veteran's day off, I earned that for sure. It's not like I take MLK day off just because I share his skin color...

To all the past, present and future service members; I give a tall salute to you all. You are my brothers and sisters. Good luck and get home safe.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Knockin on Starbuck's Door

I never thought I would become one of those people. I always thought I didn't like coffee enough to be able to rattle off my preference to a starbucks team member and have it make sense. But alas, I am one of those people in front of you that has a very specific drink I enjoy.
Grande Espresso Frappucino Light with a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla. Yeup, it takes about that long to say it too. A whole lines worth. I apologize now for holding you up when they get it wrong and ask me to say it again. About half the time I will get just a Grande Coffee Frappucino Light with a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla, when I really want the extra caffeine. sigh. What to do? In the process of finding out how to order it, I thought I had worked out all the kinks and I would get it right every time. But no, I used to say Grande Coffee Frappucino Light with an extra shot and a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla. I was told to ask for a Grande Espresso Frappucino Light with a single pump of Sugar Free Vanilla. That meant it already had the extra shot in it. Not true, not true.

Now I just order a vanilla latte.

ufck it!

Monday, May 16, 2005

No, not yet...

I am not quite ready to head into a store and take on the horrible task of finding a new bra. Stay tuned for that later.

For now, I am taking all the bras I have that are half destroyed and I am going to make a screen of them. If you hook them together in a string then hook another row together through the arm holes of the first row and so on, it makes a nice screen and conversation starter. I am heading to Burning Man this year and I may have to collect from my friends more bras to make enough screens to cover the shower just because it would be a fun and interesting screen for that purpose. Maybe I will just make a huge one to use as a shade structure. That would work quite well. Hmmm, the thoughts are just flowing now. So if you find yourself sorting through bras and want to get rid of them for a good cause, I will take them off your hands.

The Sisters

Okay, I know I was bitching a lot the other day about the sisters, but I will say this. I love them. They are me, I feel identified by them. To be certain I am empowered by them.

But when it comes to finding bra's, I am still like that pre-teen trying to figure out how they go on. I find some that I like for awhile, then they breakdown under the strain of the job. I ask a lot of a bra. it must be comfortable, have no more than 3 hooks in back and have a low cut front, but without pushing them together. I don't need to create the buttcrack cleavage that everyone thinks is so alluring. Besides just like some don't like their meat and veggies touching on their plates; I don't like having them touching because I just sweat there and it is not a good thing.

The ones that have lasted the longest are the expensive ones, but they only last about a month longer than the cheap ones. So I find myself in the local megastore looking for the least expensive underwire bra that is tan or white and relatively comfortable. If I had any reason to believe that there was a bra out there that would last a year, that cost even twice as much as I have ever spent before and was comfortable?!!? I would totally buy stock in the company and share this information with all who would listen. Not gonna happen. Hear me HANES? JOCKEY!! BALI!?!?! Whatever.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Underwires and the National Debt

Something you may not know about me is I am a top heavy girl. Thanks mom. I sport a pair of 36DDD, all me, all natural, all a pain in the ass. I wasn't always this size. I hear from other ladies that almost as soon as they started developing, they practically overnight got to their current splendor. Not me, no way. I had my first real bra just in time for my 6th grade pictures. Yeah, there I was the only girl with bra straps showing in my elementary school picture. YAY!

I did develop into quite a full C by the time I graduated high school and even into college I maintained that size depending on the brand of bondage I was wearing. Then it happened, I joined the United States Navy and I went to boot camp and the saltpeter that is rumored to be in the food to keep us from getting horny, made my boobs inflate to super human size. I came out of boot camp a DD and never looked back. I like to call them my government issue tits; as they seem to have come in my seabag.

Well, let me tell you about joining one of the last good ol' boys clubs (AKA US Navy). First of all, ask any female service member and she will tell you that it takes about 300% effort to get 30% credit. Add to that the 15% enlistment rate of women across the services and you can see that being a woman in the service is about as lonely as one can feel. Forget that the odds are great to throw a stick and find a date, but it is still a lonely existence. Yes, we can't carry as much as men. We can't run as fast or do as many pushups (on average), but don't you dare assume I can't outthink you any day and twice on Tuesday. Women have had to be able to think creatively when it comes to accomplishing manual labor.

Now the funny stuff: Boobs get in the way! Trying to shoot from prone position is just a joke. Considering most safety equipment that our government gets from the lowest bidder is not made with anyone bigger than a 32A in mind, can you picture what my everyday existance was like. I wore a shirt with two pockets on the chest that I couldn't carry anything in. My name was over the left tit and I always got "hey, what's the other ones name?" Har har har, yeah, hillarious.

So, I played the tomboy card and worked my ass off and got the respect of my peers by getting as much, if not more done in the same amount of time. I got to mess with drunken sailors and tell them I used to be a man and there are barcodes on 'the sisters'. I got asked over to the married sailors houses for barbecue's under the guise that "my wife just wants to meet you!" No she doesn't. She wants to check out who you are stupidly raving about. "That Williams is one cool chick! She kicks ass, makes me laugh, keeps us going" Yeah, dumbass, fastest way to get me invited over is to talk too much about me. The fastest way for me to never get invited over again is if I actually go.

I went to a few of these until one was at my Lieutenants house and there were lots of officer's wives around and a few other senior enlisteds and they asked me to whom I belonged. When I answered "the USN, I am stationed with them," all of a sudden I might as well have had a heaving pustule on my face. Yeah, wives don't want to meet me they want to know the face of their presumed enemy. Trust me ladies, all I get to see is the nasty habits they have when they forget that we are women and we are just shipmates in their minds. You can have them.

Anyway, back to the boobs. The sisters, twins or ta-tas as I like to call them, have gotten me in and out of trouble. Mostly, though, they have caused me ever growing grief trying to find a sling to keep them in. Stay tuned for the next chapter: "Seeking the Perfect Bra," I am gonna buy stock when I find it.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Support our Troops, quit decorating your car.

These stupid magnets that look like ribbons that say "Support Our Troops" are getting on my nerves. When was the last time someone wrote a letter to congress to ask for better benefits for our troops? How many would send the 2-7 dollars they spent on that idiotic magnet to any organization that can actually support our troops?

I know that wishing for something will not make it so, but I also think that putting something out there in the universe may change a mind. If you find yourself in a store that has one of those magnets in the impulse buy aisle at the check out stand, and you think 'wow, I have always wanted one of those to show my support.' Try saving your 5 bux, spend 37 cents on a stamp and write a letter to your congressman asking him to support our troops next time they are in session. If there was a letter written for every ribbon magnet sold, some real change could happen.

Semper Fi