I know a lot of people who have blogs say those kinds of things when they haven't posted in (hmmuhmmm) 2 years. I have been reading my old posts and never knew how funny I think I am. Ask me, I'll tell ya, I am hilarious!
Since my last post, I have reconnected with a friend from high school, fallen in love, got married by my brother to his best friend. I have moved from the NW to the dead center of the valley in California. I am in school, I am hoping to finally start a job that I can grow into a career til retirement or lottery, whichever comes first. I do plan to write more. I doubt I have any followers, but I never really intended this to be for anyone else but me anyway.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I really hope no one is following
Because I haven't touched this in a long time, obviously. LOL Anyway, no promises. I haven't had a lot of stuff to share, not a lot going on in life. I will try.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
2007, er 2009 Recap ( i haven't posted in awhile and this looked like as good a place as any to start)
stolen from HeatherAnneHogan.com1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I married two very good friends of mine.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I promised I would not buy one single purse, I didn't. I decided to lose weight, I did, 40lbs and have kept it off.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Aja got married (I married them) and gave birth to Anderson.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, Dewey Hunt, after a long bout with cancer.
5. What countries did you visit?
I did not travel at all in 2009, that has to change.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A real relationship with someone who loves me more than I think I can handle. (exact same answer from 2008, shit.)
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 5th, I took a demotion at work and got a $3/hr raise.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Paid off my student loans. Sold my Mini
9. What was your biggest failure?
Lacking the X factor to finally find a great relationship.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have stayed pretty healthy and have not hurt myself.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Chuck my motorcycle.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Every soldier who wakes up and does their job and is always looking out for the person to their left and right. (same as in 2008)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The men who maintain the need for battle in Iraq, I mean people that keep attacking our soldiers. (same as in 2008)
14. Where did most of your money go?
Sallie Mae, Citibank and Navy Federal (motorcycle loan)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My Motorcycle
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
three days grace, Life Starts Now
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Happier, in general, but still lots of room for happy.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Thinner by 40lbs thanks to Hypnosis
iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer, but much less in debt.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More dating, laughing, loving
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less first dates, less disappointment and cursing about men.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I don't remember so obviously it was a success. sigh.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Nope
22. How many one-night stands?
5th.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang, on DVD, don't have TV
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate? No, Disregard? Yes. He knows who he is.
25. What was the best book you read?
Lone Survivor, OMG I think I will read it again.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Three Days Grace, thanks Mike!
27. What did you want and get?
My motorcycle and a new batch of friends.
28. What did you want and not get?
a man to love me at my worst, hold me at my weakest.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Blind Side, favorite film of many years.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 39 and I got to spend it with Lesley who was here dealing with the state. We started in Olympia and as I like to call it the South Sound tour, then got really really stupid drunk. Wow, that never happens.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Long sleeve skin tight shirts to show off new figure and boobs. Hey, they are there whether I show them off or not, so I might as well baffle the little boys, huh?
32. What kept you sane?
the motorcycle.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I had a new crush in 2009, Matt Damon
35. Who did you miss?
Tommy Teach, always have, always will. My aim sucks. ;)
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Claudette Hatcher, bikerdiva
Men don't want to be chased, they don't want to be asked out, they just want to get laid, plain and simple.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
2007 Recap
stolen from HeatherAnneHogan.com
Kisses aren't contracts.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Moved to Seattle, survived a devastating breakup.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I try to just do better at life each year, I don't think I did horrible, but I can definitely do better.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, I am now Karynne the Great (or if you want to be official Great Aunt Karynne) My niece had her baby boy, Adam Romero.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
not terribly close, but the skydive community is pretty small and we lost 10 in a plane crash.
5. What countries did you visit?
Canada, Whistler BC to be exact. It's where I met my new housemates and newest members of my family.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A real relationship with someone who loves me more than I think I can handle.
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Feb 13th, Mark broke up with me.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learned that a broken heart mends.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Quitting Culinary School.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have stayed pretty healthy and have not hurt myself.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A plane ticket to Ecuador and my Earl (Vintage Austin Mini)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Every soldier who wakes up and does their job and is always looking out for the person to their left and right.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The men who maintain the need for battle in Iraq, I mean people that keep attacking our soldiers.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Unfortunately to the local brewmasters
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My vintage mini, Earl.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Just for Now, Imogen Heap.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Sadder, but that's going away.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Heavier than I have ever been. sigh.
iii. Richer or poorer? A wee bit richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More healing, more listening
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less talking, less crying
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my best friends even though I tried to hibernate as usual.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Nope
22. How many one-night stands?
1
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy, Girls Next Door, Chuck.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Unfortunately, I have found a severe dislike to someone who was once a very close friend.
25. What was the best book you read?
Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell it changed my thinking in the best ways.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Imogen Heap, discovered her from the movie Last Kiss
27. What did you want and get?
A new place to call home.
28. What did you want and not get?
To be over my heartache so I could start 2008 happy.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Across the Universe
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 37 and I spent the evening with most of my friends at a local brewpub for grub and brews
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Anything to show off the Tattoos.
32. What kept you sane?
I honestly have no idea.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
As always, Matthew McConaghey
35. Who did you miss?
My friends Steve and Laurie who moved 3000 miles away
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Leah and Eric, sorry, can't pick just one.
Kisses aren't contracts.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Help me help the Soldiers with their days
I am putting together care packages for the soldiers and seabees over in the middle east, and if you would like to help, visit my wish list and purchase a magazine subscription and I will make sure they get to them. They can't get magazines sent directly to them since they tend to move around a lot, but I will send a care package each month with current magazines sent to different groups. Your help would be greatly appreciated as I will be paying for the postage each month. It's a pretty inexpensive way to make them feel loved and considered.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Country Music has found a black hole...
Brad Paisley
Title: Ticks
seriously?!?!
Sigh, I may have to go back in the closet with country music.
Title: Ticks
seriously?!?!
Sigh, I may have to go back in the closet with country music.
Friday, March 30, 2007
What's the latest you ask?
So much, not enough and lots of stuff. I got dumped the just before Valentines day, and had to move out of the house that I found, painted and put a washer/dryer and hot tub into.
Well since the last post, I have moved; TWICE! yes, the first one turned out to be a bust. I met a very nice guy on my housing search, he seemed down to earth and sincere, but I guess after having had such bad judgement for so long, it should be no surprise he turned out to be a little bi polar with a psycho "on again, off again" fiance. Within the first 36 hours of living there I saw him abuse a dog and they tried to drag me into their drama. I had to get out of there, but before that I had to get out of the country.
I went to Whistler BC that next weekend with a group of friends and acquaintances. Got to know them better and had a great time, and then the planets aligned and the fat lady sang and I found out that one of them was looking for a new housemate. So I made plans to meet her and her husband for dinner and see if we jive. It was a great dinner with lively conversation and then the tour of the house. During the tour there were statements like "you could..." or "this is your..." So I finally asked if they were opening their home to me. YAYAYAYAY!I had instantly felt at ease there, so I was hoping for that. Thank you!
So, exactly two weeks after moving in to one place, I hired three men to move me to where I now call home. (Which is in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle) I wanted my friends to still love me and asking them to move me twice in as many weeks seemed a bit pushy. I may hire people to do it from now on. It was too easy and stress free.
I was done about 5pm on Saturday and had a 6pm birthday dinner to get to. Eeek! Find clothes, change clothes, find shoes, where are my keys!?!?theretheyaretimetogetoutthedoor!
Phew! I think that day will be what I consider a big turning point. I found a safe place to land and heal, and met some really sweet people at the birthday dinner, too. Lots of new stuff.
Well since the last post, I have moved; TWICE! yes, the first one turned out to be a bust. I met a very nice guy on my housing search, he seemed down to earth and sincere, but I guess after having had such bad judgement for so long, it should be no surprise he turned out to be a little bi polar with a psycho "on again, off again" fiance. Within the first 36 hours of living there I saw him abuse a dog and they tried to drag me into their drama. I had to get out of there, but before that I had to get out of the country.
I went to Whistler BC that next weekend with a group of friends and acquaintances. Got to know them better and had a great time, and then the planets aligned and the fat lady sang and I found out that one of them was looking for a new housemate. So I made plans to meet her and her husband for dinner and see if we jive. It was a great dinner with lively conversation and then the tour of the house. During the tour there were statements like "you could..." or "this is your..." So I finally asked if they were opening their home to me. YAYAYAYAY!I had instantly felt at ease there, so I was hoping for that. Thank you!
So, exactly two weeks after moving in to one place, I hired three men to move me to where I now call home. (Which is in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle) I wanted my friends to still love me and asking them to move me twice in as many weeks seemed a bit pushy. I may hire people to do it from now on. It was too easy and stress free.
I was done about 5pm on Saturday and had a 6pm birthday dinner to get to. Eeek! Find clothes, change clothes, find shoes, where are my keys!?!?theretheyaretimetogetoutthedoor!
Phew! I think that day will be what I consider a big turning point. I found a safe place to land and heal, and met some really sweet people at the birthday dinner, too. Lots of new stuff.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Obscurity RAWKS!
I had another one of my dreams where I am the cool chick friend of famous or semi famous people, but there’s always a twist. This time our three heroes are a very young Matthew McConaughey, Yojiro Harada, and Corey Feldman. I never said they were cool famous people! Okay, except for Matthew McHotstuff, I am not sure what the other fella’s are doing there. Dreams do not make sense, accept that and move on please. OOOOOMMMMMMmmmm
So, we find our hero’s walking into a diner or pub or something wearing Basketball mascot uniforms. Nope, not a wildcat or anything cool, their hats were actually school color coordinated basketballs, and there is K, sitting there with them, being the cool chick that they all wanna date, but she’s ‘one of the guys.’ We are talking and drinking beer with a couple other people and Corey comes back and asks old guy in the corner for money for another pitcher, old guy takes money out of his wallet and throws it away and says “I am skipping the middle man”
The timing is these guys are way too young to be after their height of fame, but they are still constantly recognized. I see the guy in the booth next to ours looking at these dorky mascots like he knows them but can’t put his finger on where. I say to him “yes, it’s them,” and everyone stands up and glad hands and poses for pictures. When the boys come sit down after having to shake every hand in the bar wearing these ridiculous uniforms, I simply say “obscurity rocks!”
So, we find our hero’s walking into a diner or pub or something wearing Basketball mascot uniforms. Nope, not a wildcat or anything cool, their hats were actually school color coordinated basketballs, and there is K, sitting there with them, being the cool chick that they all wanna date, but she’s ‘one of the guys.’ We are talking and drinking beer with a couple other people and Corey comes back and asks old guy in the corner for money for another pitcher, old guy takes money out of his wallet and throws it away and says “I am skipping the middle man”
The timing is these guys are way too young to be after their height of fame, but they are still constantly recognized. I see the guy in the booth next to ours looking at these dorky mascots like he knows them but can’t put his finger on where. I say to him “yes, it’s them,” and everyone stands up and glad hands and poses for pictures. When the boys come sit down after having to shake every hand in the bar wearing these ridiculous uniforms, I simply say “obscurity rocks!”
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Apparently, I am as evil as a shiny eyed baby?!?
| You Are 54% Evil |
 You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination. |
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
My new favorite quote:
"Hey, nobody ever said English was logical: just memorize it and get on with your life."
English is not hard to learn because of the spelling, but because of the grammar. I have always had trouble with certain words and phrases. I found a great site that brings many common errors to light, and it turns out that a lot of the rules I had to memorize have all but been let go for the more important Ebonics lessons.
check it out: http://wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors
Shut it, beyotch.
English is not hard to learn because of the spelling, but because of the grammar. I have always had trouble with certain words and phrases. I found a great site that brings many common errors to light, and it turns out that a lot of the rules I had to memorize have all but been let go for the more important Ebonics lessons.
check it out: http://wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors
Shut it, beyotch.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Snacks, Fat and Curves
I joined Curves for Women, and 3 weeks ago I started Weight Watchers again. As much as I hate the word 'again.' One day I will figure it out and not have to 'again' this cycle ever... almost said it a second time, phew that was close.
Curves is a great place to let go of feeling icky and fat and be able to just be and sweat and at least get your heart pumping again. I like that I can go in, get sweaty in 35 minutes and be done with it. It got me back in the habit of working out too.
I am about 40lbs overweight, according to those horrific tables that they love to show you in the doctors offices, but in my mind I am 30lbs overweight. I am okay with that, I am on the back side of my 30s and I know that I will never be a size 2. Hell, I don't remember ever being a size smaller than a 7/8.
Seriously, even when I was a teenager, junior high even, I was a juniors size 7. I was a speed skater and the clothing manufacturers never figured out how to clothe an athletic body. Ahhh, how I miss that body. I look at pictures from then and even though I still thought I was fat, I was about 125lbs, I was rock hard. The really sad part is that was still on the upper end of my weight bracket for my age/height. WHATEVER!
When I was competing at a national level in my sport and my doctor still wants to tell me to lose 10 lbs. Ummm, bite me. If I was any less head strong than I am, I would have had a nice little eating disorder brewing. I have never been able to learn from hearing, I have to learn from mistakes and doing.
I am learning that one now. I learned that if you are working out all the time, the quality of the food you put in your body is pretty dang important, but the occasional fast food and ice cream is acceptable. But: the minute you stop working out with that kind of regularity, the amounts of food, and the fast food and ice cream have to get adjusted. My downfall was fast food.
Curves is my mistress
I seek solace in your walls
Thank you for the sweat.
Curves is a great place to let go of feeling icky and fat and be able to just be and sweat and at least get your heart pumping again. I like that I can go in, get sweaty in 35 minutes and be done with it. It got me back in the habit of working out too.
I am about 40lbs overweight, according to those horrific tables that they love to show you in the doctors offices, but in my mind I am 30lbs overweight. I am okay with that, I am on the back side of my 30s and I know that I will never be a size 2. Hell, I don't remember ever being a size smaller than a 7/8.
Seriously, even when I was a teenager, junior high even, I was a juniors size 7. I was a speed skater and the clothing manufacturers never figured out how to clothe an athletic body. Ahhh, how I miss that body. I look at pictures from then and even though I still thought I was fat, I was about 125lbs, I was rock hard. The really sad part is that was still on the upper end of my weight bracket for my age/height. WHATEVER!
When I was competing at a national level in my sport and my doctor still wants to tell me to lose 10 lbs. Ummm, bite me. If I was any less head strong than I am, I would have had a nice little eating disorder brewing. I have never been able to learn from hearing, I have to learn from mistakes and doing.
I am learning that one now. I learned that if you are working out all the time, the quality of the food you put in your body is pretty dang important, but the occasional fast food and ice cream is acceptable. But: the minute you stop working out with that kind of regularity, the amounts of food, and the fast food and ice cream have to get adjusted. My downfall was fast food.
Curves is my mistress
I seek solace in your walls
Thank you for the sweat.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Tell me a story...
When I was dating a lot, I would fill in lulls in the conversation with that statement. The conversation would go something like this:
SP: Tell me a story.
Date: What kind of story?
SP: Tell me about that scar. (because almost every guy has a scar that has a great story behind it)
I would ask for this story to check two things; If they were a good story teller who could bring me along on the bike/skateboard/skis that caused the scar, and to see if they have been adventurous in their lives and have the scars to prove it. I have a few great stories for a couple fun scars to tell if I get the same request.
I have met some great story tellers who involve their whole bodies and hands and really make the whole story something that is funny and fun to listen to. I have a friend who is so good at the hand gestures when he is telling a story, I have used them in my own. Where some people will point their finger to their head like a gun, a good story teller will add the sound effects or even jerk their head back to make the whole thing more real. A great story teller will then add the hand at the other side of their head indicating the splatter that would happen. I love story tellers like that.
SP: Tell me a story.
Date: What kind of story?
SP: Tell me about that scar. (because almost every guy has a scar that has a great story behind it)
I would ask for this story to check two things; If they were a good story teller who could bring me along on the bike/skateboard/skis that caused the scar, and to see if they have been adventurous in their lives and have the scars to prove it. I have a few great stories for a couple fun scars to tell if I get the same request.
I have met some great story tellers who involve their whole bodies and hands and really make the whole story something that is funny and fun to listen to. I have a friend who is so good at the hand gestures when he is telling a story, I have used them in my own. Where some people will point their finger to their head like a gun, a good story teller will add the sound effects or even jerk their head back to make the whole thing more real. A great story teller will then add the hand at the other side of their head indicating the splatter that would happen. I love story tellers like that.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Necessary evils in our lives...
Among the necessary evils in my life, I count the Bed Bath and Beyond/Linen's & Things phenom. Of course you know they are the same store, right? Same size, layout, lighting and coupons.
Normally I like to try and find interesting items at thrift stores, or mom and pops. Sometimes though, I am compelled by something. Like having to make 3 different kinds of pasta on the same night so I need a simple solution like the Pasta Express! With 5 dollar off 15 or more coupon in hand, I am off to brave the smiling faces and over eager sales staff of my local BB&B. I am really nervous about that “Beyond” part, but I digress.
Anyway, I walk in and find the holy grail of all pasta cookers, but it’s only 9.99! So there I am, 15 minutes before closing, trying to find some other gadget I have been coveting to get me over the 15 dollar hump so I can save 5 dollars.*
I am looking around at the kitchen utensil monolith and spy a small porcelain item called a ginger grater. It is a small flat device with pointy bumps on one side that you are to rub ginger (or garlic!) on to grate it up nice and fine to maximize flavor distribution in your dish. I had seen one that was made of polycarbonate called the Garlic Card on a show called “I want that!” How did they know that I actually do want that? It was 5.99, but in my mind it was only going to be a dollar! YAYAYAYAY.
I get to the cash register and since it is so close to closing, rather than worrying about checking me out, they are frantically shutting down all empty registers and pulling money drawers. I had no less than 3 cashiers look at me waiting behind the elderly woman who was trying to decide if she wanted to get gift wrapping. Finally someone said they could help me “over here.” Except, Oh, no drawer. How about here? Nope, No drawer there either. Finally at counter #3 it was open, with a drawer and he could log on. Since it was payday**, I knew that I had plenty of cash in my account, not to mention having just seen my account balance online before shopping. I run my debit card, enter pin and get told it didn’t take. No big deal, old card, magnetic strip not what it used to be. I run it again and get the same announcement.
Now we are 7 minutes to close, and there are 2 people waiting behind me.
So, I pull out my Visa CheckCard and hand it to him and he runs it through his secret squirrel slot on his register. Now, he is calling a second cashier over. Second cashier announces that PIN is blocked. Well, it’s a credit card. I don’t need a PIN. I just need you to check my ID and let me take my stuff that is seeming less and less worth the trouble every second. 5 minutes to closing, 3 people behind me in line, credit card, debit card, check card on the counter. Pick one.
I have been watching the key strokes of Cashier 1, and now cashier 2 tries something completely different with my CheckCard and it actually went through. Weird.
Well now their portion of the transaction is handled, and I still have to reassemble everything back into my wallet. I am getting the immediate request to sign my credit card slip, there are 3 cashiers just standing there watching all this go down while the now 4 people behind me in line with 4 minutes to closing are all waiting for the same hilarity I just went through. You know what, if they had left two registers open until after the doors were locked, this may have been a non issue. I am getting crowded by the guy behind me getting his critical garlic peeler, and the one behind him with her emergency cutting board.
In case you don’t know me at all, I am an intermittent Taurus. My stubborn streak comes out at the exact worst times, every time. I take my time reassembling, I take a nice long look at my receipt to make sure what would have been a 17.41 cent transaction is now only 11.96 since I had my coupon. I collect my bags and actually have to get let out because the doors are already locked.
Poor slobs behind me.
*Some of you uber smart internet people are probably thinking that if I didn’t buy anything else, I would be saving 5 dollars.
Shut up.
**And of course payday is the best day to shop for gadgets that you don’t really need.
Normally I like to try and find interesting items at thrift stores, or mom and pops. Sometimes though, I am compelled by something. Like having to make 3 different kinds of pasta on the same night so I need a simple solution like the Pasta Express! With 5 dollar off 15 or more coupon in hand, I am off to brave the smiling faces and over eager sales staff of my local BB&B. I am really nervous about that “Beyond” part, but I digress.
Anyway, I walk in and find the holy grail of all pasta cookers, but it’s only 9.99! So there I am, 15 minutes before closing, trying to find some other gadget I have been coveting to get me over the 15 dollar hump so I can save 5 dollars.*
I am looking around at the kitchen utensil monolith and spy a small porcelain item called a ginger grater. It is a small flat device with pointy bumps on one side that you are to rub ginger (or garlic!) on to grate it up nice and fine to maximize flavor distribution in your dish. I had seen one that was made of polycarbonate called the Garlic Card on a show called “I want that!” How did they know that I actually do want that? It was 5.99, but in my mind it was only going to be a dollar! YAYAYAYAY.
I get to the cash register and since it is so close to closing, rather than worrying about checking me out, they are frantically shutting down all empty registers and pulling money drawers. I had no less than 3 cashiers look at me waiting behind the elderly woman who was trying to decide if she wanted to get gift wrapping. Finally someone said they could help me “over here.” Except, Oh, no drawer. How about here? Nope, No drawer there either. Finally at counter #3 it was open, with a drawer and he could log on. Since it was payday**, I knew that I had plenty of cash in my account, not to mention having just seen my account balance online before shopping. I run my debit card, enter pin and get told it didn’t take. No big deal, old card, magnetic strip not what it used to be. I run it again and get the same announcement.
Now we are 7 minutes to close, and there are 2 people waiting behind me.
So, I pull out my Visa CheckCard and hand it to him and he runs it through his secret squirrel slot on his register. Now, he is calling a second cashier over. Second cashier announces that PIN is blocked. Well, it’s a credit card. I don’t need a PIN. I just need you to check my ID and let me take my stuff that is seeming less and less worth the trouble every second. 5 minutes to closing, 3 people behind me in line, credit card, debit card, check card on the counter. Pick one.
I have been watching the key strokes of Cashier 1, and now cashier 2 tries something completely different with my CheckCard and it actually went through. Weird.
Well now their portion of the transaction is handled, and I still have to reassemble everything back into my wallet. I am getting the immediate request to sign my credit card slip, there are 3 cashiers just standing there watching all this go down while the now 4 people behind me in line with 4 minutes to closing are all waiting for the same hilarity I just went through. You know what, if they had left two registers open until after the doors were locked, this may have been a non issue. I am getting crowded by the guy behind me getting his critical garlic peeler, and the one behind him with her emergency cutting board.
In case you don’t know me at all, I am an intermittent Taurus. My stubborn streak comes out at the exact worst times, every time. I take my time reassembling, I take a nice long look at my receipt to make sure what would have been a 17.41 cent transaction is now only 11.96 since I had my coupon. I collect my bags and actually have to get let out because the doors are already locked.
Poor slobs behind me.
*Some of you uber smart internet people are probably thinking that if I didn’t buy anything else, I would be saving 5 dollars.
Shut up.
**And of course payday is the best day to shop for gadgets that you don’t really need.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
More humor from the internet
Linky & Dinky's (as reprinted from the secret clubhouse)
Top 248 Ways to
Annoy People!
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4. Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.
13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
36. Wear a lot of cologne.
37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
38. Sing along at the opera.
39. Mow your lawn with scissors.
40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"
41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
51. Practice making fax and modem noises.
52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
59. Honk and wave to strangers.
60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
61. type only in lowercase.
62. dont use any punctuation either
63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..
66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
67. Drum on every available surface.
68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
69. Set alarms for random times.
70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."
71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
74. Wear your pants backwards.
75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"
76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
78. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
84. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
131. Pretend you have gone completely deaf.
132. .sdrawkcab etirW
133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.
136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!
137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.
138. Drive on the wrong side of the road.
139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."
140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.
141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman.
142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.
143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.
144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.
145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.
147. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.
148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.
149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."
150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.
151. Ride a unicycle to work.
152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there.
153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
154. Continuously mumble during a conversation.
155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house.
156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.
157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs.
158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.
159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.
160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.
161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.
162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.
163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.
164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!"
166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.
167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut. (I don't get this one.)
169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn.
170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant.
173. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it's longer.
174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's.
175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.
176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.
178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
179. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."
180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car.
181. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.
182. Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent.
183. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.
184. In an office, lock all the doors behind you.
185. Face the back when standing in an elevator.
186. Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town.
187. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)
188. Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band.
89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.
90. Drive half a block.
91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
93. "Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
97. Ask to "interface" with someone.
98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
101. Never make eye contact.
102. Never break eye contact.
103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.
104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says.
107. As people talk, smell their shoulders.
108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."
109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"
110. Place your shoes on the table.
111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."
113. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's.
114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.
116. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.
117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.
118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.
119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.
120. Wear odd shoes.
121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.
122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
123. Throw stones at people walking past your house.
124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.
126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.
128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2.
129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.
130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.
189. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
190. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY.
191. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
192. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things."
193. Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!
194. Call every girl you know "dude".
195. Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy.
196. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"
197. Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment.
198. Call 911 and breathe heavily.
199. Take a shower. Feel guilty. Give it back.
200. Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's)
201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200)
202. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.
203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.
204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.
205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.
207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"
208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).
209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do".
212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.
213. Pretend you are invisible.
214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.
215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.
216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.
218. Call everyone a communist.
219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
220.. Call your neighbors collect.
221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"
222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice.
223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.
224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.
225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"
228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.
229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.
230. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.
231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."
232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email. :-)
233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.
234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.
235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!"
236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".
237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.
240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot.
241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang.
242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."
243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device.
244. Super Glue quarters to floors.
245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers.
246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Basken Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop."
247. WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!!!
248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people
Top 248 Ways to
Annoy People!
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
4. Name your dog "Dog."
5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.
13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.
16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.
22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
28. Ask people what gender they are.
29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
36. Wear a lot of cologne.
37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
38. Sing along at the opera.
39. Mow your lawn with scissors.
40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"
41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
46. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
51. Practice making fax and modem noises.
52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.
53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
57. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
59. Honk and wave to strangers.
60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
61. type only in lowercase.
62. dont use any punctuation either
63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over..
66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
67. Drum on every available surface.
68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
69. Set alarms for random times.
70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."
71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
74. Wear your pants backwards.
75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"
76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
78. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
84. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
131. Pretend you have gone completely deaf.
132. .sdrawkcab etirW
133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.
136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!
137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.
138. Drive on the wrong side of the road.
139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."
140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.
141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman.
142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.
143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.
144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.
145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.
147. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.
148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.
149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."
150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.
151. Ride a unicycle to work.
152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there.
153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
154. Continuously mumble during a conversation.
155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house.
156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.
157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs.
158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.
159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.
160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.
161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.
162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly.
163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.
164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!"
166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.
167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut. (I don't get this one.)
169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn.
170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant.
173. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it's longer.
174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's.
175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.
176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.
178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
179. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."
180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car.
181. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.
182. Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent.
183. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.
184. In an office, lock all the doors behind you.
185. Face the back when standing in an elevator.
186. Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town.
187. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)
188. Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band.
89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.
90. Drive half a block.
91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
93. "Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
97. Ask to "interface" with someone.
98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
101. Never make eye contact.
102. Never break eye contact.
103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.
104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says.
107. As people talk, smell their shoulders.
108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."
109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"
110. Place your shoes on the table.
111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."
113. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's.
114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.
116. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.
117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.
118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.
119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.
120. Wear odd shoes.
121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.
122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
123. Throw stones at people walking past your house.
124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.
126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.
128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2.
129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.
130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.
189. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
190. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY.
191. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
192. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things."
193. Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!
194. Call every girl you know "dude".
195. Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy.
196. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"
197. Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment.
198. Call 911 and breathe heavily.
199. Take a shower. Feel guilty. Give it back.
200. Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's)
201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200)
202. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.
203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.
204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.
205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.
207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"
208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).
209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do".
212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.
213. Pretend you are invisible.
214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.
215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.
216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.
218. Call everyone a communist.
219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
220.. Call your neighbors collect.
221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"
222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice.
223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.
224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.
225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"
228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.
229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.
230. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.
231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."
232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email. :-)
233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.
234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.
235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!"
236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".
237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.
240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot.
241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang.
242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."
243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device.
244. Super Glue quarters to floors.
245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers.
246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Basken Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop."
247. WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!!!
248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people
Thursday, June 15, 2006
I LOVE MY CATS!
So, when HHBL and I first started talking about buying a house, I told him that I had to have at least two kitties, if not 3. He did not grow up with furry animals as pets. He had a parakeet at one point, always wanted an African Grey.
So, in talking with our friends about this, we found out that one of them was looking to rehome their year old white cat named Kimba. I knew Kimba and loved this very cool cat and agreed immediately to adopt. So, we brought Kimba in the first week and in a couple more weeks, we adopted a second cat from the shelter I work at. This one is Urqwin (of course the Q is silent). Urqwin is a tortoiseshell calico, and quite the character.
I had mentioned that a third cat could be fun, but I really don’t want to upset the resident kitties. It's been 2 years now, and I am nervous that a third cat now would really wreck havoc on the balance we have with his cat and my cat. Since I work at a shelter, I had to put some limitations on myself. It has to be all black, with green eyes and a great personality. That keeps me from bringing home a new cat each week. I don’t really say anything else about it until I see a kitty that is close to meeting those criteria. Well HHBL has said it is my decision whether to bring a 3rd cat home, but he keeps bringing up how much fun a new cat would be.
I can see why people keep having kids.
I love cats, more than anyone should. I love their independence and their personalities that are more like snobbery than anything. I love how soft they are, I love that Urqwin will always curl up at my feet when I fall asleep, always on the window side no matter which way I am turned. She used to lie across my face when we first brought her home. She also used to curl up on top of us when we spooned. Kimba was a very cool cat right from the get go. He was the perfect first cat for HHBL. That is definitely his cat. He will seek out wherever HHBL is and make sure he is there too. He also has this really cool meow that is very wise and soulful.
Can’t even express how much I love my cats. I am a little afraid that this is displaced maternal adoration as I don’t have nor will I have children.
Doesn’t matter, LOVE THEM!
So, in talking with our friends about this, we found out that one of them was looking to rehome their year old white cat named Kimba. I knew Kimba and loved this very cool cat and agreed immediately to adopt. So, we brought Kimba in the first week and in a couple more weeks, we adopted a second cat from the shelter I work at. This one is Urqwin (of course the Q is silent). Urqwin is a tortoiseshell calico, and quite the character.
I had mentioned that a third cat could be fun, but I really don’t want to upset the resident kitties. It's been 2 years now, and I am nervous that a third cat now would really wreck havoc on the balance we have with his cat and my cat. Since I work at a shelter, I had to put some limitations on myself. It has to be all black, with green eyes and a great personality. That keeps me from bringing home a new cat each week. I don’t really say anything else about it until I see a kitty that is close to meeting those criteria. Well HHBL has said it is my decision whether to bring a 3rd cat home, but he keeps bringing up how much fun a new cat would be.
I can see why people keep having kids.
I love cats, more than anyone should. I love their independence and their personalities that are more like snobbery than anything. I love how soft they are, I love that Urqwin will always curl up at my feet when I fall asleep, always on the window side no matter which way I am turned. She used to lie across my face when we first brought her home. She also used to curl up on top of us when we spooned. Kimba was a very cool cat right from the get go. He was the perfect first cat for HHBL. That is definitely his cat. He will seek out wherever HHBL is and make sure he is there too. He also has this really cool meow that is very wise and soulful.
Can’t even express how much I love my cats. I am a little afraid that this is displaced maternal adoration as I don’t have nor will I have children.
Doesn’t matter, LOVE THEM!
Friday, June 02, 2006
"Is it just me, or..."
This rhetorical question is one of my biggest pet peeves*. Right up there with "irregardless" and "aluminium".
You know what? Whatever you are thinking/feeling/wondering is probably because of your own specific life experiences, or upbringing or body chemistry. So yes, it is just you!
For some reason I can sit in this office completely comfortable in a sweater with a geek vest over it no matter what time of year it is. Sometimes when it’s really cold, I will wear a zip front fleece jacket but even in the summer, the AC is usually enough that I will always wear my geek vest. I get to listen to everyone asking if it’s muggy, or too hot or whatever. They will notice if I wear a different pair of socks, but not the fact that I am always wearing a long sleeve shirt and geek vest.
So, I hate hearing the daily “is it just me or is it hot/cold in here?” GO OPEN THE DAMN DOOR AND DON’T LOOK FOR VALIDATION FROM ME! A lot of times I will say no, its rather cool, just to see if the offender will take their comfort into their own hands, others be damned. Most often, I get the illusion of thinking that my opinion is valued when the door stays closed and others suffer. I shouldn't notice these things, but I notice everything that people do and don't do and I didn't realize how much of it I catalog for later reference.
sigh...
I need a hobby
*pet peeve, n : an opportunity for complaint that is seldom missed; often with irrational passion
You know what? Whatever you are thinking/feeling/wondering is probably because of your own specific life experiences, or upbringing or body chemistry. So yes, it is just you!
For some reason I can sit in this office completely comfortable in a sweater with a geek vest over it no matter what time of year it is. Sometimes when it’s really cold, I will wear a zip front fleece jacket but even in the summer, the AC is usually enough that I will always wear my geek vest. I get to listen to everyone asking if it’s muggy, or too hot or whatever. They will notice if I wear a different pair of socks, but not the fact that I am always wearing a long sleeve shirt and geek vest.
So, I hate hearing the daily “is it just me or is it hot/cold in here?” GO OPEN THE DAMN DOOR AND DON’T LOOK FOR VALIDATION FROM ME! A lot of times I will say no, its rather cool, just to see if the offender will take their comfort into their own hands, others be damned. Most often, I get the illusion of thinking that my opinion is valued when the door stays closed and others suffer. I shouldn't notice these things, but I notice everything that people do and don't do and I didn't realize how much of it I catalog for later reference.
sigh...
I need a hobby
*pet peeve, n : an opportunity for complaint that is seldom missed; often with irrational passion
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the mall
When was the last time you were in the mall? When was the last time you tried to get to your favorite store through the gauntlet of teenagers? You know, if I was older, I would probably be mad at all these directionless children with nothing better to do than be in my way. I just turned 36. All I think about when I see the throngs of young people in my way* is wow, I really hope I wasn’t that way when I was younger, all the while knowing full well that I was.
More so than when I was a teenager (in the 80’s!), accessories seem to be the order of the day. Big sunglasses, purses covered in bling and charms for your cell phones. (?)
I am thinking real hard, and I guess I do remember those weird little buckle things that we used to pull our oversized tee shirts through at the hip. Then there was the need for multiple color socks and layers of polo shirts with the collars sticking up. Izod, LeTigre, designer jeans, off the shoulder shirts with the lacy bra strap showing. The Madonna look, pegged pants, Reebok high tops, permed hair, the mullet when it was cool, that incarnation of Goth.
I guess I am finally old enough to see my teen years as an embarrassment not only to myself, but even to my parents. Having no children of my own, I know they can never have their revenge. They tell me they are okay with this, but in some deep dark corner of their minds, they know that I am having the last laugh by not having any children. HAHAHA!
*yes, they are still in my way.
More so than when I was a teenager (in the 80’s!), accessories seem to be the order of the day. Big sunglasses, purses covered in bling and charms for your cell phones. (?)
I am thinking real hard, and I guess I do remember those weird little buckle things that we used to pull our oversized tee shirts through at the hip. Then there was the need for multiple color socks and layers of polo shirts with the collars sticking up. Izod, LeTigre, designer jeans, off the shoulder shirts with the lacy bra strap showing. The Madonna look, pegged pants, Reebok high tops, permed hair, the mullet when it was cool, that incarnation of Goth.
I guess I am finally old enough to see my teen years as an embarrassment not only to myself, but even to my parents. Having no children of my own, I know they can never have their revenge. They tell me they are okay with this, but in some deep dark corner of their minds, they know that I am having the last laugh by not having any children. HAHAHA!
*yes, they are still in my way.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard /bitch who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid and ask who it was.
4. When you are scared, I will tease you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words so you understand.
7. When you are sick, I'll tell you to stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. When you cry I will call you a big baby and tell you to grow up and deal with it.
10. When you complain I'll tell you you're acting like a nag and tell you to shut up.
11. When you say something stupid I'll hit you over the head and walk the other way like I don't know you.
12. When you start babbling about stupid shit I'll start saying "blah blah blah" and change the subject.
13. When you call out of the blue to say hello I'll ask what is wrong with you and then hang up.
14. If you ask me to help you move I'll only carry the light things and if you complain I'll remind you that I'm not being paid.
15. If we drive anywhere together and you say anything about my driving I'll pull over and opend the side door and push you out.
This is my oath. I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask; because you are my "friend". Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of nine.
Remember: A good friend will help you move - - a really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard /bitch who made you sad.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid and ask who it was.
4. When you are scared, I will tease you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words so you understand.
7. When you are sick, I'll tell you to stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. When you cry I will call you a big baby and tell you to grow up and deal with it.
10. When you complain I'll tell you you're acting like a nag and tell you to shut up.
11. When you say something stupid I'll hit you over the head and walk the other way like I don't know you.
12. When you start babbling about stupid shit I'll start saying "blah blah blah" and change the subject.
13. When you call out of the blue to say hello I'll ask what is wrong with you and then hang up.
14. If you ask me to help you move I'll only carry the light things and if you complain I'll remind you that I'm not being paid.
15. If we drive anywhere together and you say anything about my driving I'll pull over and opend the side door and push you out.
This is my oath. I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask; because you are my "friend". Send this to ten of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of nine.
Remember: A good friend will help you move - - a really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
40 ways to tell if you are a product of the 80's
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE."
2. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and can do the Carlton?
3. Girls wore bike shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
4. Two word: Hammer Pants.
5. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
6. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side.
7. You wore stone washed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
8. L.A. Gear.....need I say more?
9. You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona Quimby books.
10. You know the profound meaning of "WAXON, WAX OFF."
11. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (Some of us...head-to-toe).
12. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose
fell off and his cheeks shifted.
13. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
14. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes(and probably in neon colors,
too)
15. After you saw "Pee-wee's Big Adventure "you kept saying "I know
you are, but what am i?
16. You remember "I've fallen and I can;t get up."
17. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
skates.
18. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
19. You have played with a Skip-It.
20. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
21. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
22. "Don't worry, be happy."
23. You wore, like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top
Reeboks.
24. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do).
25. You remember boom boxes.
26. You remember Alf, the li'l furry brown alien from Melmac.
27. You remember New Kids of the Block when they were cool.
28. You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART."
29. (You just sang those words to yourself.)
30. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird. Oh yeah.........it will
never be that good again.
31. Homemade Levi shorts....(The shorter the better.)
32. You remember when mullets were cool!
33. You had a mullet!
34. You still sing "We are the World."
35. You tight rolled your jeans.
36. You owned a banana clip.
37. You remember "Where's the Beef?
38. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout
Willis?"
39. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
40. You wanted to be a "Goonie"
2. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and can do the Carlton?
3. Girls wore bike shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
4. Two word: Hammer Pants.
5. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
6. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your
shirt in a knot on the side.
7. You wore stone washed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
8. L.A. Gear.....need I say more?
9. You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the
Ramona Quimby books.
10. You know the profound meaning of "WAXON, WAX OFF."
11. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (Some of us...head-to-toe).
12. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose
fell off and his cheeks shifted.
13. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
14. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes(and probably in neon colors,
too)
15. After you saw "Pee-wee's Big Adventure "you kept saying "I know
you are, but what am i?
16. You remember "I've fallen and I can;t get up."
17. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline
skates.
18. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
19. You have played with a Skip-It.
20. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
21. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
22. "Don't worry, be happy."
23. You wore, like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top
Reeboks.
24. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do).
25. You remember boom boxes.
26. You remember Alf, the li'l furry brown alien from Melmac.
27. You remember New Kids of the Block when they were cool.
28. You know all the words to Bon Jovi's "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART."
29. (You just sang those words to yourself.)
30. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird. Oh yeah.........it will
never be that good again.
31. Homemade Levi shorts....(The shorter the better.)
32. You remember when mullets were cool!
33. You had a mullet!
34. You still sing "We are the World."
35. You tight rolled your jeans.
36. You owned a banana clip.
37. You remember "Where's the Beef?
38. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout
Willis?"
39. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
40. You wanted to be a "Goonie"
Monday, April 17, 2006
My first adventure in backpacking (hijinx ensues)
I have a friend JA who has literally camped and backpacked all over the world. She is by far the most worldly person I know. She is multilingual and an expert at placement and construction of outhouses*. *She know's I am talking about her now.
Being so experienced, I had no reason not to trust her completely. I own hiking boots, sleeping bag and pad. She had everything else. She even thought ahead with this being april and weather being unpredictable at best, she wanted to stay low in altitude to avoid the possibility of snow. So with the forecast being 2000 foot snow level we stayed below 1800.
This did not stop us from waking up in the snow. Heavy snow. Lot's of it.
I don't do well in the snow. I don't like driving in it, I don't like being around other people in the snow*. *Long story for another entry.
So, JA being considerate of my snow issues, we headed back out of the Olympic National Forest for lower ground. More specifically her parents house about 30 minutes away. We cooked breakfast and sat and looked over the water and thought about what it was going to be like once we finally got to go hiking. She got some tips and we took off to a small park nearby and on the water. We hiked around there and found what might be the next adventure of our whole group of friends in car camping.
While we were out there we concocted the story of fighting off a bear with our purses for those who want to ask us how our hiking trip went. All I have to say is thank goodness we carry zip ties in our purses. (Don’t ask) She had told me at the beginning that my only job was to tell her when I wasn’t having fun anymore and we would head straight back to the car and get dry, warm and fed. Well, after hiking around this park for a couple hours in the rain, I realized that I really wasn’t prepared for the rain and decided it was time to get dry and that my hot tub was calling our names.
Great weekend, we spent about 40 minutes in the tub getting warm, then got food and movies and spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies and hanging out. It couldn’t have been much better.
I am very lucky with the friends I have. They are as flexible as I am. I try new things with them and they come hang with me and do nothing. Nothing is good sometimes.
Being so experienced, I had no reason not to trust her completely. I own hiking boots, sleeping bag and pad. She had everything else. She even thought ahead with this being april and weather being unpredictable at best, she wanted to stay low in altitude to avoid the possibility of snow. So with the forecast being 2000 foot snow level we stayed below 1800.
This did not stop us from waking up in the snow. Heavy snow. Lot's of it.
I don't do well in the snow. I don't like driving in it, I don't like being around other people in the snow*. *Long story for another entry.
So, JA being considerate of my snow issues, we headed back out of the Olympic National Forest for lower ground. More specifically her parents house about 30 minutes away. We cooked breakfast and sat and looked over the water and thought about what it was going to be like once we finally got to go hiking. She got some tips and we took off to a small park nearby and on the water. We hiked around there and found what might be the next adventure of our whole group of friends in car camping.
While we were out there we concocted the story of fighting off a bear with our purses for those who want to ask us how our hiking trip went. All I have to say is thank goodness we carry zip ties in our purses. (Don’t ask) She had told me at the beginning that my only job was to tell her when I wasn’t having fun anymore and we would head straight back to the car and get dry, warm and fed. Well, after hiking around this park for a couple hours in the rain, I realized that I really wasn’t prepared for the rain and decided it was time to get dry and that my hot tub was calling our names.
Great weekend, we spent about 40 minutes in the tub getting warm, then got food and movies and spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies and hanging out. It couldn’t have been much better.
I am very lucky with the friends I have. They are as flexible as I am. I try new things with them and they come hang with me and do nothing. Nothing is good sometimes.
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