Necessary evils in our lives...

Among the necessary evils in my life, I count the Bed Bath and Beyond/Linen's & Things phenom. Of course you know they are the same store, right? Same size, layout, lighting and coupons.
Normally I like to try and find interesting items at thrift stores, or mom and pops. Sometimes though, I am compelled by something. Like having to make 3 different kinds of pasta on the same night so I need a simple solution like the Pasta Express! With 5 dollar off 15 or more coupon in hand, I am off to brave the smiling faces and over eager sales staff of my local BB&B. I am really nervous about that “Beyond” part, but I digress.
Anyway, I walk in and find the holy grail of all pasta cookers, but it’s only 9.99! So there I am, 15 minutes before closing, trying to find some other gadget I have been coveting to get me over the 15 dollar hump so I can save 5 dollars.*
I am looking around at the kitchen utensil monolith and spy a small porcelain item called a ginger grater. It is a small flat device with pointy bumps on one side that you are to rub ginger (or garlic!) on to grate it up nice and fine to maximize flavor distribution in your dish. I had seen one that was made of polycarbonate called the Garlic Card on a show called “I want that!” How did they know that I actually do want that? It was 5.99, but in my mind it was only going to be a dollar! YAYAYAYAY.
I get to the cash register and since it is so close to closing, rather than worrying about checking me out, they are frantically shutting down all empty registers and pulling money drawers. I had no less than 3 cashiers look at me waiting behind the elderly woman who was trying to decide if she wanted to get gift wrapping. Finally someone said they could help me “over here.” Except, Oh, no drawer. How about here? Nope, No drawer there either. Finally at counter #3 it was open, with a drawer and he could log on. Since it was payday**, I knew that I had plenty of cash in my account, not to mention having just seen my account balance online before shopping. I run my debit card, enter pin and get told it didn’t take. No big deal, old card, magnetic strip not what it used to be. I run it again and get the same announcement.
Now we are 7 minutes to close, and there are 2 people waiting behind me.
So, I pull out my Visa CheckCard and hand it to him and he runs it through his secret squirrel slot on his register. Now, he is calling a second cashier over. Second cashier announces that PIN is blocked. Well, it’s a credit card. I don’t need a PIN. I just need you to check my ID and let me take my stuff that is seeming less and less worth the trouble every second. 5 minutes to closing, 3 people behind me in line, credit card, debit card, check card on the counter. Pick one.
I have been watching the key strokes of Cashier 1, and now cashier 2 tries something completely different with my CheckCard and it actually went through. Weird.
Well now their portion of the transaction is handled, and I still have to reassemble everything back into my wallet. I am getting the immediate request to sign my credit card slip, there are 3 cashiers just standing there watching all this go down while the now 4 people behind me in line with 4 minutes to closing are all waiting for the same hilarity I just went through. You know what, if they had left two registers open until after the doors were locked, this may have been a non issue. I am getting crowded by the guy behind me getting his critical garlic peeler, and the one behind him with her emergency cutting board.
In case you don’t know me at all, I am an intermittent Taurus. My stubborn streak comes out at the exact worst times, every time. I take my time reassembling, I take a nice long look at my receipt to make sure what would have been a 17.41 cent transaction is now only 11.96 since I had my coupon. I collect my bags and actually have to get let out because the doors are already locked.

Poor slobs behind me.

*Some of you uber smart internet people are probably thinking that if I didn’t buy anything else, I would be saving 5 dollars.
Shut up.

**And of course payday is the best day to shop for gadgets that you don’t really need.