Meandering to a different drummer
I am a product of MTV, Glam Rock and "Friends." I'm sorry.
Thursday, August 30, 2018
2017 Recap
1. What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?
I had my 5th anniversary with my husband, never thought I would get married. And I had two panic attacks.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No, last year was meant to lose a pound a week. instead I gained.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, I have a step daughter who had her second daughter in May.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, I was working in Oncology, lost several patients I had become close to.
5. What countries did you visit?
No new countries in 2017
6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
An exercise program that I like and can stick to.
7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 27th, when I realized that the office I worked in had great big favoritism for certain people and fuck the rest of us.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I argued my way into a big fat raise.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I let the favoritism get to me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had the flu over NYE weekend, and had a lot of dental work done.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
45" flat screen TV
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Every soldier who wakes up and does their job and is always looking out for the person to their left and right. (same as every year)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The men who maintain the need for war, I mean people that keep attacking our soldiers. (same as every year)
14. Where did most of your money go?
Debt elimination. got myself into about 15k of debt.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The possibility of being out of debt.
16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
You Ain't Worth the Whiskey
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Happier
ii. Thinner or fatter? Heavier
iii. Richer or poorer? richer, less debt.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Reading
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
sitting on my ass watching TV
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my husband and his mom.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Every single day, over and over again, with the man I married!
22. How many one-night stands?
None, I found the one.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang Theory, Ellen
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Still a wasted emotion
25. What was the best book you read?
Living somewhere between estrogen and death.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Rev Theory, Three Days Grace
27. What did you want and get?
my own craft room.
28. What did you want and not get?
A new vehicle.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 47 and I spent it with my husband. I plan stuff for him and other friends, but I don't really have friends who put that kind of consideration into me.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?
Scrubby chic. I wore scrubs to work and just jeans and tee shirts otherwise.
32. What kept you sane?
My two kitties.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan Reynolds
35. Who did you miss?
My friends in the NW
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Lucille F. Nurse at my office.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.
People are generally mean and self serving.
And I hope to post more in general. I like to write.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
2008 Recap
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Got promoted without even trying.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I always make resolutions, and I can usually stick to at least one of them.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, there was Sally Marshall born on 12/31
4. Did anyone close to you die?
in 2008 no, but I have been close to three people who were fighting cancer and lost the battle recently.
5. What countries did you visit?
Ecuador!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A relationship of equals with someone who really "gets" me.
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 20th, it was the first time in my life I ever called in 'sick' because I just could not take one more day in a row of work.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
got a job and got promoted without even trying.
9. What was your biggest failure?
still did not get myself out there enough to find a mr. right.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I never get sick. And I am not lucky enough to get injured.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
a new mattress, tempurpedic, yummy and warm.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Every soldier who wakes up and does their job and is always looking out for the person to their left and right. (same as last year)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The men who maintain the need for battle in Iraq, I mean people that keep attacking our soldiers. (same as last year)
14. Where did most of your money go?
Local brewmasters got a lot of it, and the rest went into stuff I consider clutter this year.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
new job, new people, new friends.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Alcohol
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Much Happier
ii. Thinner or fatter? Much thinner
iii. Richer or poorer? A wee bit richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Getting out and being with friends, real friends
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Drinking
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With Richard and Rhonda of course.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Nope
22. How many one-night stands?
1
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Chuck.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nah, wasted emotion
25. What was the best book you read?
Lone Survivor
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Brad Paisley, and I rediscovered that I still love country music.
27. What did you want and get?
A job.
28. What did you want and not get?
A man, but honestly I don't think I was really ready until recently.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 37 and I spent the evening with most of my friends at a local brewpub for grub and brews
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Anything to show off the Tattoos.
32. What kept you sane?
I honestly have no idea.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
As always, Matthew McConaghey
35. Who did you miss?
My friends Steve and Laurie who moved 3000 miles away
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Leah and Eric, sorry, can't pick just one.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Kisses aren't contracts.
Crossing Over
I still don't think I can move on to someone else, but at least I am no longer pining over the loss of him. Baby steps.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse
All the things I thought I was doing so that he didn't feel like he had a child on his hands that he had to take care of, he saw as me becoming independent of him. I bought my own camera without consulting him, I bought tires without bringing him with me, when he offered me cash to help me out of a bind, I declined, finding my own way out. I'm sorry for being able to take care of myself and not be a burden on you.
I have heard a lot from my friends on this subject and some of it I didn't want to hear. I have heard a few tell me that they figured it was only a matter of time that I would either dump him or the other way around. I guess I was the only one that saw forever here.
The answer that is going to elude me for a long time is what did I get out of this relationship? What intangible do I get to take with me? Besides diminished self esteem, increased self doubt and this non stop sobbing that I can't seem to kick. One of the people in my life keeps telling me this will all be a memory at some point. As much as I am certain that is the truth, I can't see that day yet.
This was my first really long relationship, this was my first attempt at shacking up, this was my first a lot of things. I know that not many firsts end up being lasts. That's just in my own experience. Things like first love, first sex, first skydive, first road trip, first car, first vibrator.
I guess I just saw me being able to be enough of an amazing partner that the effort would be there to work on us with me.
yeup, I am starting to get stuck in the Anger phase of the stages of grief. I will try not to lash out too much.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Twila
She is about to finish her AA at the end of three years of full time school. When did the AA become a 3 year degree? She is nowhere near ready to be out on her own. I do put a lot of expectation on these girls as I was living on my own making 5 bux an hour working 50 hours a week at a ski resort stuffing butts at age 18.
She says she wants to be a vet. She icks out when her own cat drools on her. She can't even scoop a single cat box with any regularity, and feeding on a schedule gets acknowledged but not accomplished. My latest peeve that came up tonight was that she did scoop the kitty box and then put the scooped poop into the trashcan outside. What's wrong with that, you ask?
Well living here in California, there is no alley, so our cans go on the curb one day a week for pick up. That was yesterday. Passive aggressive admission here: I leave the cans on the curb to see how long it takes anyone else to move them back to the side yard. I am usually doing it Thursday night, much like tonight.
So, there I was, bringing in the cans tonight and I smell the tell tale sign of scooped catbox in the can. The same empty can that was left on the street. It would have taken 20 extra seconds to pull this can back to the side yard and do ONE LITTLE THING for the household that provides her food, cable, wifi and asks that she only scoop the catbox once a day which she can barely manage.
She has a heart the size of Montana. Feels everything with every fiber of her being. Wants so badly to be in love and loves fantasy and vampire fiction like Twilight and Vampire Diaries.
Did I tell you I have kids?
Monday, September 03, 2012
The Brother's Three
Monday, July 23, 2012
Long time no see...
Since my last post, I have reconnected with a friend from high school, fallen in love, got married by my brother to his best friend. I have moved from the NW to the dead center of the valley in California. I am in school, I am hoping to finally start a job that I can grow into a career til retirement or lottery, whichever comes first. I do plan to write more. I doubt I have any followers, but I never really intended this to be for anyone else but me anyway.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I really hope no one is following
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
2007, er 2009 Recap ( i haven't posted in awhile and this looked like as good a place as any to start)
stolen from HeatherAnneHogan.com1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I married two very good friends of mine.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I promised I would not buy one single purse, I didn't. I decided to lose weight, I did, 40lbs and have kept it off.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Aja got married (I married them) and gave birth to Anderson.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, Dewey Hunt, after a long bout with cancer.
5. What countries did you visit?
I did not travel at all in 2009, that has to change.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A real relationship with someone who loves me more than I think I can handle. (exact same answer from 2008, shit.)
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 5th, I took a demotion at work and got a $3/hr raise.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Paid off my student loans. Sold my Mini
9. What was your biggest failure?
Lacking the X factor to finally find a great relationship.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have stayed pretty healthy and have not hurt myself.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Chuck my motorcycle.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Every soldier who wakes up and does their job and is always looking out for the person to their left and right. (same as in 2008)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The men who maintain the need for battle in Iraq, I mean people that keep attacking our soldiers. (same as in 2008)
14. Where did most of your money go?
Sallie Mae, Citibank and Navy Federal (motorcycle loan)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My Motorcycle
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
three days grace, Life Starts Now
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Happier, in general, but still lots of room for happy.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Thinner by 40lbs thanks to Hypnosis
iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer, but much less in debt.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More dating, laughing, loving
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less first dates, less disappointment and cursing about men.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I don't remember so obviously it was a success. sigh.
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Nope
22. How many one-night stands?
5th.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Bang, on DVD, don't have TV
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate? No, Disregard? Yes. He knows who he is.
25. What was the best book you read?
Lone Survivor, OMG I think I will read it again.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Three Days Grace, thanks Mike!
27. What did you want and get?
My motorcycle and a new batch of friends.
28. What did you want and not get?
a man to love me at my worst, hold me at my weakest.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Blind Side, favorite film of many years.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 39 and I got to spend it with Lesley who was here dealing with the state. We started in Olympia and as I like to call it the South Sound tour, then got really really stupid drunk. Wow, that never happens.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Long sleeve skin tight shirts to show off new figure and boobs. Hey, they are there whether I show them off or not, so I might as well baffle the little boys, huh?
32. What kept you sane?
the motorcycle.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I had a new crush in 2009, Matt Damon
35. Who did you miss?
Tommy Teach, always have, always will. My aim sucks. ;)
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Claudette Hatcher, bikerdiva
Men don't want to be chased, they don't want to be asked out, they just want to get laid, plain and simple.